Can you love someone and say hurtful things?

Saying hurtful things to your partner in a relationship lowers their self-esteem, making them feel vulnerable and unloved. They might begin to feel that you’re behaving this way because you don’t love them anymore. They could feel underappreciated and feel like you are taking them for granted.

Why do we say hurtful things to the ones we love?

When we hurt someone for no reason, it’s because we fear rejection or disconnection from that person. We hope that, by lashing out, they’ll show us more love, attention or understanding. As a result, we’ll feel ‘safer’ in the relationship. So, we behave badly because we want to feel ‘safe’.

What if your partner says hurtful things?

If your partner casually says something rude and it hurts your feelings, “first try to figure out their intent and if they were meaning to be hurtful, or if it’s really miscommunication,” licensed marriage and family therapist, Heidi McBain, MA, tells Bustle.

How do I forgive my boyfriend for saying hurtful things?

How to Ask for Forgiveness

1. Show true contrition and remorse for the pain that you’ve caused.
2. Be willing to make a commitment to not hurt your partner again by repeating the hurtful behavior.
3. Accept the consequences of the action that created the hurt.
4. Be open to making amends.

Is it normal to say hurtful things in a relationship?

No it is not normal to say hurtful things in a relationship. Once or twice during an argument something hurtful can slip out involuntarily. You or your partner might regret it instantly and ask for forgiveness. But saying hurtful things during all kinds of arguments is not normal at all.

Is it OK to say something you don’t mean during an argument?

In the middle of an argument, it can be easy to say something hurtful that you don’t really mean. But even during a fight, you and your partner should strive to keep the discussion civil and respectful. If your partner says toxic things to you on a regular basis, that’s not acceptable, according to experts.

What is the paradox of the hurtful things people say?

Answer Wiki. Here’s the paradox, Anjali: when people say mean and hurtful things to us, they are hurt themselves – their words and actions are an unskilled response to something that has hurt them…think about it.

Why is it easier to hurt someone when you know them?

The better you know someone, the easier it is to hurt them. You know all their weaknesses and insecurities. You know the character flaws that they are most ashamed of. And you can use these things against people. Hurtful insults can be an extreme weapon. If you’re a mean person, that is.