How do I help my BF get over my past?

How to overcome your anxiety about your partner’s past relationships.

1. Retrospective jealousy — or jealousy about your partner’s past — is a common issue for couples.
2. Normalize your feelings.
3. Validate the pain.
4. Don’t turn your relationship into a trial.
5. Realize that there is a reason the past is in the past.

Why can’t my boyfriend let go of my past?

Here are some of the things that could be driving his inability to let this go — he struggles with trust, his thoughts get obsessive at times, or it could be a way for him to have power and control in the relationship. Sometimes these things are subconscious and he may not even be intending to do them.

Should your boyfriend care about your past?

The short answer is yes, it is important to talk to your partner about your past. But that doesn’t mean sharing everything, though. There are things from your past that have no bearing on your current relationship. You can keep them to yourself.

When your boyfriends use your past against you?

When a partner keeps bringing up the past, they might be feeling insecure in the relationship or trying to gain something that’s missing. If they are not sure what is missing, you can try to figure it out together.

What to do when you can’t let go of the past?

How to Let Go of Things from the Past

1. Create a positive mantra to counter the painful thoughts.
2. Create physical distance.
3. Do your own work.
4. Practice mindfulness.
5. Be gentle with yourself.
6. Allow the negative emotions to flow.
7. Accept that the other person may not apologize.
8. Engage in self-care.

Why bringing up the past is bad?

Every time you bring up their past to mock them for their choices or your own to draw comparisons, you are wedging a gap. This is not a constructive habit and moreover, it is unhealthy. You might feel that you are talking from your feelings and emotions, but what you are actually doing is bullying them for their past.

Why does my boyfriend bring up the past?

“If your partner dredges up the past for whatever reason, it shows that they don’t let things go,” psychic and spiritual counselor Davida Rappaport tells Bustle. “They may hold on to the past and not allow you to change.” Or, they may cling to past mistakes you made, and bring them up time and time again.

What would happen if my boyfriend’s past was different?

If any aspect of your boyfriend’s past was different, he would be a completely different human being. Pause and consider that for a moment. And what’s more: if your boyfriend was a different human being, you might not be attracted to him at all. I’m serious.

How do I stop thinking about my boyfriend all the time?

Or, more realistically, we can accept that there is a bad occasionally challenging emotion that might come up for us as a result of their attractive qualities. Stop convincing yourself to forget about your boyfriend because he attracts others, too. Above all: trust your boyfriend until he gives you a reason (or reasons) not to.

What do you not want to be with your boyfriend?

If he can’t forgive you for something you did a while ago or support you in your chosen profession, you don’t want to be with that boyfriend. You don’t want to be with someone who judges you and makes you feel guilty about your past; you want to be with someone who accepts you and makes you feel optimistic about your future.

What is the flipside of everything you love about your boyfriend?

The point is: there is probably a challenging flipside to all of the things you love about your boyfriend. For example: let’s say your boyfriend is highly physically attractive, spending hours at the gym every week. Shocker: other women in his past, and present, will notice this, too, and be drawn to him.