Common questions

Is it bad to talk about past relationships with your partner?

Is it bad to talk about past relationships with your partner?

You might feel awkward discussing exes with your new partner, but having an honest conversation with them about past relationships is perfectly healthy. It can bring you closer together and help you to better understand your significant other, and vice versa.

Should I worry about my partners past?

The bottom line. Having some curiosity about your partner’s past relationships is completely normal, but the way you handle these feelings can make a difference for you and your relationship. If you’re struggling with them, a therapist can always offer support.

Is it bad to read your partner’s messages?

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The long and short of it: No, it’s generally not OK. It’s a violation of your partner’s privacy and a breach of trust ― not to mention, it’s often unproductive: You might find nothing and then feel like a jerk for snooping.

Why do we talk about our pasts in a relationship?

The relationship becomes more about exposing ones mind and soul and shares thoughts we’d never spoken about. It is at this stage that the past usually comes up. No matter how ‘cool’ or ‘open-minded’ we may think we are, we’re all eager to know about our partner’s past relationships.

Should you talk to your partner about past trauma?

If painful moments from your past are still affecting your daily life, it could be worth talking to your partner about. Whatever they may be, “these events will affect your relationship today, especially if you haven’t worked through them in a therapy setting,” Tessina says.

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Should you talk about your exes with your new partner?

You might feel awkward discussing exes with your new partner, but having an honest conversation with them about past relationships is perfectly healthy. It can bring you closer together and help you to better understand your significant other, and vice versa.

What should you learn from past relationships with your partner?

Once you’ve shared the lessons of past relationships with your partner, it’s best to continue to get to know him or her, form a new bond and create new memories — don’t let your current relationship stagnate. There’s always more to learn about the relationship at hand, so you’ll need to give it as much attention as possible.