What happens when you leave someone with BPD?

A common symptom of BPD is an extreme fear of abandonment. This fear can lead to the need for frequent reassurance that abandonment is not imminent. It also creates a drive to go to great lengths to try to avoid abandonment, and feelings of devastation when someone ends a relationship.

Do people with borderline personality disorder feel regret?

A young person with BPD often does this during periods of intense distress, sadness, anger or irritability. They may describe using these methods to manage their feelings, and like other forms of impulsive behaviour, they often regret it later.

Is it hard to leave someone with BPD?

People with BPD are often terrified that others will leave them. However, they can also shift suddenly to feeling smothered and fearful of intimacy, which leads them to withdraw from relationships. The result is a constant back-and-forth between demands for love or attention and sudden withdrawal or isolation.

How do you distance yourself from someone with borderline personality disorder?

But with some individuals with BPD, you don’t want to get into the habit of allowing certain things such as calls after hours, visits to your home without announcing it, borrowing your things and never returning them, driving your car and keeping it longer than they should, etc.

What happens when your BPD partner abandons you?

In the most troubled relationships, it is not uncommon for a BPD partner to unexpectedly abandon the relationship or do something so hurtful that one cannot continue. Your partner may emotionally discard you or become abusive – leaving you to feel oppressed and broken.

How do people with borderline personality disorder feel after a separation?

Distancing triggers all kinds of abandonment and trust issues for the BPD partner (as described in #4). People with BPD also have real object constancy issues – “out of sight is out of mind”. They may feel, after two weeks of separation, the same way you would feel after six. Absence generally makes the heart grow colder.

Are you willing to tolerate BPD behavior beyond what you’re acceptable?

As a result, you were willing to tolerate behavior beyond what you’ve known to be acceptable. You’ve felt certain that your BPD depended on you and that they would never leave. However challenging, you have been committed to see it through. Unknown to you, your BPD partner was on a complex journey that started long before the relationship began.

What are some of the false beliefs you have about BPD?

Many of us struggle with some of the following false beliefs. We often believe that our BPD partner is the master of our joy and the keeper of our sorrow. You may feel that they have touched the very depths of your soul. As hard as this is to believe right now, your perspective on this is likely a bit off.